"Pooch Dog Ramble" by Pooch Dog Jack

The "Prairie Pooch Hole" is not really a personal blog.  You might get glimpses of my personal life in my postings.  Although I doubt you would know what "intelligence" about Seraphina and me to believe.  

Forgive the exception.  This blog entry is very personal...

Seraphina visited Missouri and came back sick.  She told me to quit kissing her, and to sleep in the other room.  Not to be!  I would rather sacrifice my life to love than go thru this Lonesome Valley without affection.

But, maybe this is overly dramatic.  Besides, the way I've felt the last two days, it is one of the most stupid things I've said in recent memory!

My current status?  Been sleeping most of the days and nights.  Now, it is 4:30 am and my days and nights are turned topsy turvy... I'm awake.  No point in thrashing around on the bed waking up Seraphina!

Be warned!  I'm not in my right mind.

Reminds me of a joke from a children's book I read to my children which reminds me of myself right not.  It's hard.  But, cutting it short...

A lion is roaring in the jungle.  To a giraffe..."I am the king of the jungle.  

I could snap your skinny ass (I added the last word) neck just like that!"  To a zebra... "I am the king of the jungle.  I love colorful meals, like you!"  About that time he heard a noise under his feet.  Looking down, he turned over a leaf.  There sat a puny mouse.  The lion cried... "I am the king of the jungle..."  But, while drawing in his breath for the Coup de grâce, the mouse interrupted him.  

"Yes, it's true you could eat me up and scarcely taste me on the way down. 

But, I haven't always been this size.

I've been sick lately!"

I am that mouse!

Last night Seraphina and I had a serious conversation about the pictures of women on "The Prairie Pooch Hole."  From the beginning of my blog, I've included G-rated pictures of women.  I've made it a point of asking Seraphina to view my blog from time to time.  Prior to last night, her only comment was that it had a male flavor.  Last night, she had some concern whether I was on a pathway that would get me in trouble, OK now but deep into pornography in a few years.  She also feared the opinions of those who knew me when they scanned my blog.  Valid concerns.

Seraphina is not a jealous woman.

Some years back, we were sitting on the river bank in downtown St. Louis, Missouri waiting for darkness and the Fourth of July's fireworks.  A buxom wench was on the blanket next to us.  But, I don't think I even looked at her beyond the first glance.  We got home a few days later, and there's a full frontal picture of said buxom maiden on my camera.  Seraphina had taken it.  She said something like, "You are always so well behaved.  I thought you deserved a little treat." 

Seraphina and I talked at length about that experience, and others like it.  We talked about the G-rated pictures.  And, about the men we know and have heard about who might have started out honest and faithful.  But, before it was done, were deeply into pornography to an extent that threatened their relationships.

It is not impossible, and far from it, for Pooch Dog to become entangled in porn and ruin the trust between Seraphina and me.  I take this issue seriously.

But, the issue is not as simple as, (stealing from Animal Farm)...

Four legs, good.

Two legs, bad!

Applied to this situation it would be...

Enjoyment of your wife, good.

Enjoyment of other women, bad!                 (Talking about the G-rated pictures, remember)

I was raised in a very fundamental Protestant denomination.  No playing cards.  No dancing.  No caffeine or alcoholic beverages.  Do nothing that doesn't advance the soon return of Christ.  

This background has left a deep mark on me.  Most of it positive.

I still belong to the same religious group, and am glad to have been raised as I was.  That being said, there are some elements of life that I don't think my upbringing prepared me for very well.  And, one of the primary ways I feel my childhood culture did me a disservice, or lack of service, is in the area of women.  

Such a rocky path strewn with flowers!

Studies show that women's hormones react immediately to "baby stimuli", such as a picture of a mother nursing a baby.  A similar reaction occurs whenever a man, even subconsciously, glimpses the well-known vixen-containing truck mudflap.  It's just that deeply a part of our experiences.  Show us a shape that can even remotely be conjured into something female, and there is often a physiological reaction at a deeper level than volitional thoughts.  I consider these established facts.

The cure for desire for the opposite sex, I was taught, was "just don't think about it."  Pray, and you will get the victory.  Now, I don't think I was more or less lustful as a youth than other boys.  And, similarly, I don't think I was much different in the degree of my success in controlling my thoughts.  Awful!  The more I tried to control my thoughts, the less I accomplished.  It was almost as if my efforts were providing the temptation power!

Turn time a few revolutions.  I no longer fear loss of salvation if I see a sensual scene in a movie, or a pretty face not my wife's.  And, an odd thing happened on the way to that Forum.   The temptation was defanged!  

I don't care what kind of temptation we're dealing with.  Alcohol, as another example.  I have come to doubt the efficacy of any approach that relies on will power alone.  There seems to be a natural middle of the road to life on which the practically victorious walk.

There's a ditch on the fundamental "Thou Shalt Not..." side.

There's a ditch on the liberal "Thou Can And Shalt..." side.

Let's return to my early life, in my 20s or very early 30s.  My life was in order, and despite how it might sound above, my thoughts were reasonably under control.  R-rated films?  Never.  PG-13?  Maybe.  You get the idea.

There was only one problem remaining.  The percentage of my world with which I had any meaningful relationship was shrinking!  To most, and now I am speaking about those outside my religious culture - those I am supposed to be trying to "reach", found me out of touch and judgmental.  Not at all someone they wanted to associate with.

Skipping some years, I have regained the company and respect of "the world."  The price?  I've abandoned the right side of the road.  While also trying to avoid the left side of the road.

The middle of the road, for my parents was not the same as my middle of the road.  My middle is not the same as my children's middle.  

There are twists and turns in our roads, with the solid ground not the same as in years gone by.  The path to walk will be different tomorrow, than today.

And, I will continue to reach for the solid ground...

In the meantime, I think I'm going back to bed!!