How To Tell If Your Husband Is Gay

My wife's out of town. So, I'm peeing on every fire hydrant I can find! Sucking water out of the garden hose till my belly pooches out like a potbellied stove. Then, with my camel belly topped off, I'm off to pee on more hydrants!

In between hydrant runs, I'm sitting at my desk, talking to my wife Seraphina. I notice this ad...

So, I ask her, if you wanted to know if I was gay, what questions would you ask?  Here's her questions and my authoritative answers...

• What is the difference between the colors mauve and pink? (No difference.)
• What is minola blonk, of unknown spelling?  (Candy.)

She says I'm not gay!

Pooch Doggy Dog