Canines Demand Hypoallergenic President

 

Doctor Doolittle's assistant here.  The doctor is out of town.

I must report utter consternation and anger within this country's canine community over Obama's tasteless comment about "mutts like me."  Here it is, uttered at his first press conference...

"We have two criteria that have to be reconciled. One is that Malia is allergic, so it has to be hypoallergenic. There are a number of breeds that are hypoallergenic," he said. "On the other hand, our preference would be to get a shelter dog, but, obviously, a lot of shelter dogs are mutts like me."

Now, you got your trailer trash woofers.  And, your junk yard biters.  They don't care.  But, your average canine citizen feels disenfranchised by these comments, conveying they believe, utter unawareness of the rich and variegated list of accomplishments by said "mutts."

 "Besides", said one Lahsa Apso I visited with, "Obama shook my paw while electioneering in my town, and within 5 minutes I had broken out in a rash.  My bitch was just coming into heat.  And, for crying out loud, she wouldn't let me near her!  I'm telling you, I was howling and gnashing my teeth, I was drooling and begging.  But, nothing!  She wouldn't even look at me.  Told me I looked like a scaly canine lizard mix of some type.   A mutt!"

I can report that this is not a unique story.  Polls show that over half the dogs who were patted or scratched by President-elect Obama experienced some sort of allergic reaction.

It's too late now, and dogs will suffer the next four years.  However, I am told that dogs everywhere are demanding change next time... a hypoallergenic president!

http://www.CaninesWhoCantGetSexBecauseOfRashesAfterShakingObamasHand.com